Many a time, I feel like I let so many things in life pass by without paying much attention to it. Maybe I should be more petty and lower my tolerance level. I seem like one whom you can bully but when I really blast my top, it's scary. To think certain people can make me extremely irritated. Anyway, I have no idea why my blogger page at home has a problem. It doesn't show the font size and style when I intend to create a new post. I'm now blogging from office. There's meeting later but now I'm free.
Actually I wrote this 1 or 2 days ago.

I think there's some problem with blogger again. Oh man. The photo uploader and the font size options are all gone. This is frustrating though I don't think I'm uploading any photos for the moment.

I really hate to have to accept the fact that my grandmother has passed away. I mean, imagine, I was with her on a sunday. Then tuesday she fainted, wed she passed away and on the next sunday, she's being buried about 2 metres underground. HOW??? I don't know what to do, how to react. It's really a horrible feeling. But I believe I'll see her spirit around every now and then. Hmm.
Okay, I'm a free thinker so I don't really bother what you people with religions think about what I just said.
I just need to type out my feelings else I'll really go into depression.
Can you believe it? I know I'm emotional but... I've been crying everyday you know. And when people around me start to say things that makes me sad or agitates me, I'll just cry. And I don't think I'll be able to come out of it.

Anyway, work was busy on friday. And I kind of feel bad that I can't stay over till later to do my programme and have to leave it to the other AP to do. But see, I left office at about 6PM and I only reached home at 8 something PM. Somehow, it takes longer for me to get home than to get there. And I feel bad that I have to leave it to my other colleague to do it because she's nice to get along. The other colleague is somehow going to drive me mad. Mad as in really angry kind of mad. ROAR. SHOO you if you can't bloody hell use the right english words to express yourself. Just speak in chinese and don't offend me with your warped english. If only they just let me continue doing 早安您好 instead of doing the other chinese current affairs programmes. Or if only they had vacancies in ch8 variety, ch8 drama or CNA. Nvm. She's the only one getting on my nerves so it's alright. The rest are nice people.

I'm now sitting in office. The very spot where I was sitting 2 weeks ago in the morning. 2 weeks ago this day, I was already planning to go off soon when I received an sms from my father about ah ma's condition. I stared at the msg teary eyed and left immediately. Rushed down to changi hospital's ICU to see my grandmother. On the way there, I was already crying. Well, at least I spent the whole afternoon with her before her heartbeat dropped to zero.

Anyway, I can't remember the name of the taxi uncle who drove me to Changi Hospital but I would like to praise him for comforting me. And also another patient at Changi Hospital when I was trying to find the wards building. Thank you very much. Your kind actions and words made me less nervous.

Hey friends, please do not agitate me if not I warn you, I'll break into tears even more easily now as compared to last time.

I feel that I'm more emotional now than before. I don't think it's a very good thing but I can't control.
I still can't accept the fact that my grandma has passed away. 3 days before she passed away I was with her, talking and drinking her ginseng and felt so happy and contented. That was a sunday. And tuesday night, she fainted. Wed night she went off. How can I not be upset, emotional, heartbroken, when she's the only one who really cared for me since birth?
Aye. I've been crying everyday since over a week ago.

And then I realised how emotional I was when I was at work yesterday. My colleague said something and I didn't understand what she meant so I merely asked, "哪里有？" And if you know me, my pitch of voice is very high. So maybe it sounded as if I'm arguing or what. When the other older colleague came, she heard and told me, "别人叫你做，你就做。不要argue." PLEASE, I'M ALREADY VERY UPSET BY OTHER THINGS, SO ONCE YOU AGITATE ME BY SAYING SUCH THINGS AND USING THE WRONG WORD, IT'S THE END. I know you had chinese education and so your english is not so good. But I take things seriously and not as a joke like you said. I don't think it's funny when you said I argued. I take it to heart. I very well DID NOT ARGUE. So, you know what, I just burst into tears nonstop. I continued with my work but I cried nonstop. I already mentioned to a number of them, I'm very emotional and will cry anytime. If you do agitate me into crying, I'll cry nonstop and I can't stop for a very long while. So if you people can, make me laugh more instead of cry. At least when I laugh, it makes others laugh too. But when I cry, I'd admit, it's scary.
Or just SHOO and SHUT UP if you can't use the right word because I take things to heart.

That said, don't get me wrong, I'm actually rather contented at work. I'm just a little upset they changed me to another programme when I'm getting the hang of the original one just because of a stupid reason. But no point saying. Anyway, it's also good that I learn more different things so I'm not complaining about it.

I'm so sorry for the lack of updates. I'm in no mood to blog actually, because something very upsetting happened to me. My grandmother passed away. I don't think I'll say anything on my blog. It's too personal. Yup. If you know me and want to ask me about it you can though. Just not on my blog yup.

:(:(

Roar! I'm upset. Something is wrong is Blogger. Why can't I upload my photos?!?!?! I'm fuming already.

Now I understand why my other friends mentioned that about blogger. Hmm.
Maybe I should shift myself to omy.
I have photos to upload la.
Including those from dj course.
sighs.

Work's been good I feel, except for some afternoons where I just pop the tape and dvd into the machine and wait forever for it to be transferred. So I'll just surf the internet rather aimlessly and wait for it to be done.
Well, you know, I'm one person who loves to get up early in the morning and so going to work early isn't a problem to me. :)
Anyway, yesterday I was quite high because 怡凤 and 鐘琴 came for our interview. Because I would say they're both within the hosts whom I really like. :D
Don't miss their 抢摊大行动! It debuts on 6th July. Every monday 8pm! Don't miss it!

It's fun because I like getting to know new friends so I guess doing 早安您好 is indeed a good thing because doctors, drama producers, actors, actresses, chinese physicians, stock analysts, cooks, etc come for interviews.

I need to search for more time though, because I need to go to sephora to get foundation. And maybe the clinique wash too. And I need to find time to meet with some friends.